Angry rant: ( maybe half personal details of my life) ( sorry for mistakes)
Sick of getting yelled at by my mother, sick of getting spanked ( been years but happened often enough)
yelled and threatened multiple times...
accidentally had gfs, ghs, like child defense thing, she still wont shut up and brings it up whenever it suits her.
She can go to the damn animal shelter herself, the only 2 differences between there and home is the change of location and different animals.
sick of being yelled at to clean, self-esteem only exist in a dictionary, its so low, for years, apathy towarfs folding towels, folding my own clothes, ( except " special clothes" then " i must hang/ fold properly")
every thrusday, dragging the trash to the curb, a voice half shouting, just about when i turn to go home " a few more feet and wait a few seconds" nearly every time...
my future is in the shitter, no college, no car, very little chance for a job
NEVER FOUND LOVE, not a crush, not puppy love
ugh, getting depressed, but this only way to type it out, no paper trails
i swear, every time home with dogs, burn at least one smelly candle, dump anti dog chemicals on carpet, dump 1/8 bottle of frebreeze on carpet.
If only i could tell younger self, it would be a few pages long, of WHAT NOT TO DO, snd a few what to do ( slight chance of success vs mother)
learn spanish, only drink tap or normal water, no sweet or salty or anything bad...
Bet still, even with infinite outcomrs, diffrtent variables, im still fucked.
mom, you screwed my life over, you and your god damn pieces of shit daughters
Im fucking pissed, but cant do or say shit... im rebelling internally but extermally im a fucking slave. bored out of my skull, cant fucking complain!!!!!
no friends of much to speak of...
was pissing my pants, thought tonights fuck up with the dog smell mess, WHICH MY NOSE WAS CLOGGED. THE DOGS DIDNT MOVE AFTER I WSLKED THEM. Thought " oh shit, how much bullshit am i honna have taken away once again. how much spplications a day will i have to fake... what indescrible insilts and yelling will i have to endure, ( will i be spanked again)
course, cant self defense, because id fuck myself over even worse...
ps4, my current phone, and DA, main sources of outside info...
gonna play video games at 7am, faking asleep if SHE enters, hoping SHE leaves the house before then
Thanks for reading my pathetic ( part of it) life.